Big Horse, Little Boy

I took V to the barn the other day to let the horses out to get some exercise. I thought it was funny that when we first got the horses, V was pretty scared to ride by himself. Now, all he wants to do is to ride by himself. We've trotted (many miles) and even cantered. He got a real kick out of going faster. The horse, although, wasn't quite sure of what to think about an extra 40 pounds bouncing around behind the saddle, so the cantering was kept to a minimum.

But now, he's been in two horse shows, and is getting pretty confident. This day there was no way we were leaving without tears if he didn't get to ride. I didn't feel like hauling out all the tack just for a 5 minute ride, so I threw him on bareback with a lead rope and halter to hold on to. He had a good time riding, and wasn't scared at all to tell the horse who was boss. I thought it was so funny watching him try to kick the horse to get him to go... his little legs barely fit around the horse, and it takes an all out effort to actually give him a kick. I just think it's amazing that a 40 pound kid can mount an 1,100 pound animal. An animal of pure muscle, power, and grace, and make that animal comply.

It says something for the horse too. I think they know when a kid is around. Horses just seem to understand that they need to take care of their little riders, and are so willing to walk around at leisurely pace, to the enjoyment of his passenger. The same animal can then be turned out, free to be a horse, and exhibit his strength as he bucks, rears, rolls, and gallops. But not with his rider. Mounted, he is again a gentle giant, careful to not turn to sharply, or move too fast. I continue to believe that horses can teach children so much.

They can teach respect...just because you're bigger, doesn't mean you are always in control. They teach responsibility...the horses need to be cleaned, fed, and watered before the humans can relax. They teach love unconditional love...anyone who has looked at those big brown eyes or who has heard the soft knickers as you enter his sight knows what I mean. They teach so many things and require so little in return. I think they are just truly amazing creatures, and this is why my children will grow up with horses.

Vincent 0 Cavaties 1

Today was Vincent's first visit to the dentist. He handled it like a champion - much better than I would have ever expected. As some of you know, he was complaining about a toothache a few weeks ago. I looked in his mouth and thought I saw some discoloration on his first bottom molar. The next day he was still complaining, so I picked it with a toothpick and removed something from in between the first and second molars. I figured maybe this was what was causing the problem, but he still was complaining.

I made him a dentist appointment after vacation, and my fears were confirmed...Houston, we have a cavity.

His hygenist was great by letting him see all the tools and stuff before she started picking at him. He didn't even flinch during his cleaning. Of course, I'd probably enjoy it too if they cleaned my teeth with chocolate toothpaste. I am actually looking forward to going to the dentist. A whole hour of reclining, watching tv, no kids, no dogs, no nothing. Just sit still and don't talk. Sounds like vacation to me! Anyway...

Yes he has his first cavity. I can't imagine how he got it... it's not like his grandma and auntie and granny and pappap feed him candy or anything. I just can't see how this happened! No, it's not just them, we give him candy too. I just had to get that jab in. So he has to go back to the dentist in a couple of weeks to get it filled. How's that for wasting good money on a tooth that will most definitely be falling out on its own in the next couple of years! I am clearly in the wrong business! He had a good time there today, and collected hordes of pencils, stickers, toothbrushes, floss, and other dentist office trinkets before he left. I doubt he'll be as enthusiastic leaving next time. I hate to tell ya kid, it's not gonna be all stickers and chocolate toothpaste next time. Maybe this will convince him that it isn't just mommy and daddy wanting to be mean when we say, "No, I'LL brush your teeth!"

Little Einsteins

I've gotten in trouble because I have depicted in my blogs that my kids are terrors. Now, while I don't deny that, I have to admit that they have their cute moments, and even their moments when they actually surprise me with their politeness. V has definitely been the most outgoing and talkative one... it is sometimes a problem because all someone has to do is answer yes to the question he asks everyone, "Do you have a tractor?" and that person is automatically "in" as far as a non-stranger. Clearly, this poses problems from time to time. The next comment he'll make is "See, that person knows me!". The other day we were out taking care of the horses when the barns owners came in to feed. V is really excited at feeding time because they think he's cute so they allow him to help. Mr. Terry (as V refers to him) will calmly lift him up umpteen number of times so he can dump the grain into the feed bins at each stall. Yes, this about doubles the amount of time it takes him to feed, but I guess he's just a likable kid. V said "yes, sir" to Mr. Terry once in a response, so Mr. Terry just eats him up because of that.

J, on the other hand, is a little more reserved. I never understood how people got their toddlers to stay near them at stores/festivals/on walks.. really whenever there appears to be something more interesting somewhere else. Even when V was barely 1, he would just start walking toward whatever interested him, look back at me, and keep going. Never for one minute did he show even the slightest fear of me not being right next to him.

J, while not as clingy as some toddlers her age, is not quite that adventurous. She'd rather hold hands, and isn't too sure about wandering out of close range. This is good for us, especially because I'm often busy making sure V doesn't set up a deal to live with a farmer he meets or something. Who knows, I'd probably have random people showing up at my house to give him tractor rides they promised if I didn't keep a close eye (and ear) on him at all times.

J still doesn't have much to say. She's happy to point and make any noise that sounds like what she wants. And she'll do it all day before she says the word. Doesn't matter if you don't give her what she wants until she says it... she'll just get bored because you clearly are not understanding her and go find something else to do. But believe me, she understands you!

I feel like she'll talk when she's good and ready, and not a minute before. Maybe she'll be like Einstein. I can see the resemblance! He didn't talk until he was almost 3, when at the supper table one night, he exclaimed, "this soup is too hot!" His parents asked why he never said anything before, and he replied, "because until now, everything was in order." I'll support her if she wants to find some new theory or phenomenon and make millions of dollars... Colorado, here we come!

But no, really, seriously, I have good kids. They most certainly have their moments, but for the most part, I think they're on the right track. Just as long as they don't end up in prison... is that too much to ask for?

I Stand Corrected

I was wrong. The Top Thrill Dragster isn't launched with electromagnets... it's stopped with magnets. It's actually hydraulically launched. Silly me. I guess there is a small bit of comfort knowing that what is stopping you from catapoulting off into space is a natural force that doesn't rely on something manmade to function properly. Moving onward...

I have given you all daily entertainment, and for that you have a small price to pay. Leave me a comment here and there so I know I have an audience. Even if it says, "Hey, that blog really sucked," or "you need to get a life," at least I know I have someone viewing the fruits of my labors. Thanks.

So today is my day "off." B worked last night and goes back in tonight, so I get the pleasure of chasing the kids around all day, trying to keep their volume to a low roar so he can get at least a few minutes of sleep. It's fun, but I'm definitely not a full time stay at home mom.

Some of the ladies at work said when I came back after V was born, "Don't you hate coming back to work?" Call me crazy, but truthfully, no, I was kinda looking forward to it. After 8 months of being restricted to conversations consisting of "babababa" and "mamamama" and "dadada" etc. I was in fact quite ready for some adult human interaction.

I have to give credit to those who can find the patience to stay home 24/7. Some days going to work is less actual work than staying home. It also helps that I really like my job, too. So, since I'm being sentimental (don't blink) I thought I'd dig up a few of those newborn pictures to post of how much the kids have grown, and what monsters they've become.

Awwww. How cute. I guess I miss the itty bitty baby days, but I definitely don't want to go back there. I kind of like the fact that I can tell one of them (actually both, that way one MIGHT respond) turn off the tv, or get your shoes, or get mommy a martini, and they actually respond with more than a belch or wail (well, usually). Well, I'd better get back upstairs. They've gone a whole 7.38 minutes without direct adult supervision...


I better go make sure the kitchen isn't on fire, or worse.

Another "Vacation"

Well, we just got back from lovely Sandusky, Ohio's star attraction, Cedar Point. Each year the B's parents treat the family to a few days at an amusement park. Last year was King's Island, this year was Cedar Point. This is the first year we took J, and incidentally, the first time she's slept in a hotel room (except for the time when she was like, 2 weeks old).

We got there on Monday afternoon and spent all evening from 5-10 in the park. Prior to that, we were swimming in the hotel pool. We rode a bunch of rides, and ate a really nasty $8.00 cheeseburger for supper.

By the time we got back, I was already exhausted. So on Tuesday, we got up early and went into the park again. We took the kids on a few rides, then Gran and Pap took them and we got to ride some grown up rides. Thank goodness... I think if I heard another cheeky kiddie song in "Camp Snoopy" I was going to puke.

I got a few pics of the kids on the rides. They look terrified, don't they? We're just conditioning them for when they're old enough to ride to good stuff. Then they'll be subjected to getting tossed, whipped, and otherwise catapoulted into the sky at breakneck speeds, all while trusting a hydraulic cylinder with your life. Some rides don't even provide you that as they hurl you into space.

It's amazing what technology has done for roller coasters. My goodness. The "Top Thrill Dragster" uses electromagnets to create 10,000 linear horsepower and shoot your body from 0-120 miles per hour in 3 seconds. There is no way that can be good for your internal organs. But there's no doubt that it's fun! I'll probably have a stroke tonight. Here's the best picture I could get of the ride as it "launched." Yes there are human bodies on that ride. See what I mean?

Anyway, we all had a good time, and the kids actually slept, much to our amazement. They had so much sensory overload all day, though, they were probably just incapable of remaining awake any longer. Overall, it was a positive experience.

Now just to get everyone reset into "behaving mode" and "sleeping at the right times mode." That's the real trick.

Little Homewrecker

Here's an update on cicada-head, potato-head, 89, and 90. I convinced my little collector to set them free. We will now refer to them as "free range cicadas." The funny thing was that after V let them out of the jar, they just kind of hung around where he dumped them... for quite a while. Maybe they were just in shock. They even let him play with them and stuff. I thought about making little costumes for them and dressing them up like Elvis, Marilyn Monroe, Johnny Cash, and Janis Joplin. Then I came to my senses.

I couldn't believe they tolerated being loaded into a front loader, poked, and otherwise tortured when they were perfectly free to just fly away.

Sis had a good time disassembling their former prison.

Since the original fab-4, we have outfitted exactly 3 neighbor kids with their own cicadas-in-a-jar. I never thought that such a nasty little bug could provide so many hours of entertainment. Who knew?

Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there. I hope your kids are being respectful of the fact that it is your day. Yeah, right, who am I fooling?

So, to honor all the stressed out, sleep deprived dads out there I found a funny little quote:

"We can learn many things from children…like how much patience we have, for example."

- Author unknown

Finding myself at McDonalds

We were at McDonalds the other day to pick up a quick supper. The kids (well, kid) proclaimed "we want nuggets," so the order was two nugget happy meals, and one 2 cheeseburger meal, plain, diet cokes for all.

I proceeded to the 2nd window to pay for our meal of trans-fats, fried chicken parts, and South American beef product in a patty and then to the first window, where we were to recieve our instant gratification. The friendly 16 year old opened the window and handed me our drinks with a brace filled smile. Three drinks, one adult, one vehicle, as expected, no drink holder. That's ok though, we have a giant SUV with cup holders in the cargo area - we are still doing alright.

As we sat waiting for our heart attack in a bag meal, the big question came up. The same happy faced McEmployee opened the window again and asked "Would you like sauce with the nuggets?" Anyone with two kids in a car knows that's a trick question. I really like BBQ sauce, especially from McDonalds, and it makes my pleasure meal even that more pleasureable. But this time we'd be eating on the go and I knew if V saw my BBQ sauce, he'd decide his nuggets and fries just weren't complete without it. Now, we all like our kids to be happy but dark red BBQ sauce and the light grey Expedition leather seats just don't go really well together. I him-hawed for a few more seconds, when, before I could decline the friendly (and tempting) offer, I hear from the backseat in an all familiar voice...

"MOMMY, YOU NEED TO BE MORE ASSERTIVE."

A four-something-year-old is telling me I need to be more assertive. Now, realize I have been a police officer for longer than this kid's been alive (by a few years, even), and I think a pretty effective one at that. I think I am pretty assertive. So naturally, the next question, was "V, do you even know what that means?" He replies "You need to decide. Yes or No. I learned it on Spongebob."

I learned it on Spongebob. Great.

So it's true, Spongebob IS teaching life lessons. Plus, it's something that I can at least tolerate watching. It's better than Caliou and some of those other annoying Kum by Ya shows they have.

I just wanted to share that tidbit of a story with you. I thought it was hilarious, but I suppose it has a bit of "something to think about" quality to it too. If not, I guess it just means I was holding up the fast moving drive-thru lane at the Winfield McDonalds. I'm lovin' it.

24 New Legs

We have added 4 bodies and 24 new legs to our animal lineup. Enter "cicada-head," "potato-head," "89," and "90." All very original names created after about 3 seconds of thought by a 4 1/2 year old boy. The conversation went like this:

4 year old: Mommy, you're home!

Mommy: Yes, Mommy's home.

4 year old: I have a surprise to show you.

Mommy: Oh yeah? What is it?

4 year old: CICADAS!!!

Mommy: Oh, good! (sarcastically). What are their names?

4 year old: (3 second pause) Cicada head, potato head, and 89.

Mommy: Cicada head, potato head and 89?

4 year old: Yeah they're my new pets.

(90 came later when he thought 3 cicadas would be much happier with one more)

So it's the year of the 17 year cicada. It seems to me like the big 17 year cicada story was running just a few years ago too. It's my understanding that each brood hatches every 17 years, and that each year can have its own brood. I guess this means that you can have 17 year cicadas every year. Kinda takes the fun out of it.

Anyway, these nasty, creeping, red-eyed bugs have infiltrated our peaceful abode. For the first few weeks we could only hear them, and we knew they were populating the nearby woods due to the enormous infiltration of seagulls swooping and pooping over our once quiet (and clean) neighborhood. For the past few days, though, these disgusting little 6-legged creatures have been dive bombing us, our kids, and our dog in our own yard. They really are clumsy little things. They will literally fly right into you and then sputter as they fall to the ground. You can hear them hitting the screens, sides of the house, whatever. I think they're really gross.

Does anyone know what to feed a cicada? They have been happily doing cicada things in their 1 quart mason jar prison all day, but have yet to have a decent meal, or a cool drink of water for that matter. I told the boy that we'd have to let them go free at the end of the day, to which I was confronted with tears, "but they're my new pets!" So I guess we're stuck with them till death do us part. Going by the news reports, they only have a few days to live anyway. Going by the seagulls, they have a better life expectancy in the mason jar.

On to more interesting news, and to answer what seems to be the top question in our family right now. Yes, we got the tie-die dress, and yes, sis has actually worn it. Behold.

It seems a little too big for her but I'm sure it'll be a better fit by the end of the summer. Thanks

sis - it's very groovy. Until next time...

Back Home to Chaos Land

Ok, so we're home now. And we're all still in one piece. No one is missing, and the horses are tucked away happily munching on hay in their stalls. I am so impressed with our planning... we didn't have even ONE mishap. Well, besides for the racoon that raided our campsite the first night and stole our potato chips, buns, and bread.

I got up Saturday morning and realized we didn't put the very heavy water jug on top of our food bin thingy and that the lid on the food bin thingy was off. But nothing appeared to be missing... until... we really looked and saw that the above named items were neatly not there. We investigated (as any normal police officers would do) and found our hot dog bun bag and half empty potato chip bag had been taken into the woods, emptied of the contents, and left. They left the marshmallows and granola bars... I think if they were really THAT smart, they'd have taken that instead of bread and potato chips. Oh well. I guess thats why I'm not a racoon.

So I spent my weekend looking at this...

A horses rear end. The brown one, not the one in jeans. Just kidding.

The weather was perfect and there were virtually NO bugs. Here is a pic of our campsite.

So anyway. I guess we were successful, no broken bones, no loose horses... just a little saddle sore, but my motto is that if you don't come home sore, you didn't have enough fun.

When we got home the kids acted happy to see us. It should be about another two weeks or so before we beat them back into submission post-staying-with-grandma-and-grandpa compliance with the rules. Everyone is in bed now, and I'm just trying to catch up with life.

Thanks to everyone who viewed the site... I guess we have a few fans after all!

Bear with me - I'm new to this

Ok, I got turned on to this whole "blog" idea from a good friend's "blog." I will be astonished if anyone actually looks at this, but I guess the whole idea is kind of fun, and a little more technologically advanced than I ever imagined I would be.

I'll try to post at least somewhat regularly, but learning from the title of my "blog", untrained monkeys, I guess my crazy life may prohibit daily postings.

I'll try to post photos as they apply to whatever I am complaining about... again, this may just be a silly attempt by me to seem more responsible than I actually am.

My hubby and I are going camping this weekend, and the kids are staying with Grandma and PaPa. Yay! Of course, we are taking the two horses, who at times (but not always) can be more unruly than the children. We'll see how that works, and I'll let you know when we get back. I've spent all day packing not only for two adults but for two 1,000# plus animals who get very cranky when they don't get fed. I'm exhaused... I thought this was supposed to be vacation.

Ok, so I need to go finish packing, then pack the truck, then double check everything to make sure when we set out for the great outdoors, that we don't find ourselves in a predicament sans toilet paper, or food, or clothes...

Maybe I need to make a list first.

I promise this will get more interesting. I just wanted to try my hand at this and see if anyone actually cares.